I feel a bit hesitant in writing this blog post because I think the subject matter might be a bit controversial. It isn't light or fluffy, and it isn't about the happy, shiny things in life. It's about an emotion that everyone experiences at different times to different extents: anger.
Anger isn't a nice emotion but is it a bad one? Can it ever be good or helpful? See, when we think of anger, more often than not the images that come to mind are violent and threatening. But what about righteous anger? What about that gut feeling when we see injustice in the world that says, "something needs to change here"?
I also think that even anger that isn't righteous, anger that's born out of irritation or tiredness, is a very natural emotion. It's what we do with it that makes the difference.
Do we let it rule over us? Snap at our loved ones or just plain blow a fuse and shout the house down? Or do we take back the control? Not suppressing the emotion but recognising it, acknowledging it and then finding a positive way to process it and let the feeling out, at the right time.
The other day, I felt so angry. It was one of those times where in the moment I locked the anger inside, so that it just boiled beneath the surface until I was able to leave the situation and deal with it.
Here's what I did to let it out and process it in the most healthy way I could think of:
1. Exercise
Before going home, I went for a walk. About 30 mins of brisk walking in total. At first, all I could do was seethe and silently rant, but as I channelled the energy out through my legs and breathed in the fresh air, something started to relax. The dust began to settle and my thoughts became quieter and clearer.
I began to be able to see beneath the angry emotion and ask myself some questions: What was it about the situation that was making me so angry? Could I do anything to change the situation? Did I need to change something about myself?
2. Slow Breathing
It's amazing the difference that slowing down breathing can make to our stress levels. If you ever find that your breathing is shallow and anxious, then give this exercise a go:
Hold your breath for 3, exhale for 3, inhale for 3. Do this a couple of times and then when you feel able, start to extend the times of holding and exhaling the breath (this will correct your carbon dioxide levels and force your body to relax); it's a simple exercise that can be done anywhere and gives pretty instant results.
3. Talking
As an introvert, I need some time alone to process how I feel before talking to someone else. Once I understand myself and my reactions a bit better, then I find it really helpful to chat things over with my husband or a close friend/family member.
4. Meditation
Once I got home, I took some time to do a couple of short meditations using the HeadSpace app. It has tailored meditations to fit different needs, including ones for anger and frustration, which were the ones I used. The first one was 3 minutes long, the second was 5. Genuinely, after that combined 8 minutes I felt so much better.
Each of these steps didn't change the situation I was in, but they helped me to get some distance from it, so that I wasn't overwhelmed and could think clearly.
Once we can take a step back and look at things objectively, we can work out what to do to make a positive change.
What about you? Do you have any tips for channelling negative emotions into something positive?
Lisa xx
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